wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming
100000000 points to mom.
I can not count the number of times this trick has saved my ass.
And people say Tumblr doesn’t teach you life skills…
this will come in handy one day
ATTENTION GRADUATING CLASS OF 2013: COLLEGE SURVIVAL 101
Reblogging for future reference..
do not pity the dead, harry, pity the living, and above all those who cannot go to comic con
i just ship johnlock so hard what can i do